I made a serious attempt on my life about 2.5 weeks ago. I was sincerely expecting it to work and I'm kind of dumbfounded (albeit somewhat relieved) that it didn't.
I don't feel that I have properly processed this experience; my life has gone back to business as usual but with a bit more support in place. I haven't felt overly emotional about it. I feel immense guilt about the stress this has caused my loved ones and I feel that my brain has just tapped me out to protect me from becoming overwhelmed. I look back at this experience quite objectively and without much emotional distress.
I'm speaking through this with a psychologist but I guess I'm posting here to see if I can get any insight. Should I expect this to have some kind of impact on me? I was genuinely prepared and expecting to end my life, somehow got found, and ended up recovering in hospital for a couple of days before being sent back home. I feel like I'm bracing for this to hit me all at once at some point while also unsure that it even will at all.
