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Lou77
New Contributor

Bipolar Husband - Wife seeking information and support

Hi All, I am new to the forum & my first post. I am looking for support and information.

 

We have been married 12 years with two young children. My husband told me randomly a couple months ago he wanted to seperate. A very black and white decision it was from him and the main reason was he didnt love me anymore. Just like that. No marriage counselling. No discussion. He wanted to move out. 

 

Somehow within all of the mess at the time I told him he wasnt thinking properly and I booked him into a physiatrist and he attended. He was told he has bipolar and needs medication for life. 

 

He has continued treatment the last couple of months, he has moved out weeks ago and wants to deal with it on his own. I don't know if he will ever come back. It appears he has just come out of a elevated mood that has had him wrapped up for the past weeks since he spoke to me. I couldnt recognise the husband that I knew. He was scary, determined, selfish to say the least. Im scared for when this mood comes back. He has told be hopw destructive he has been as well. 

 

How did I not identify that he has been suffering for so long and throughout our marriage?

He has had depressive eposides before and I thought it was work or family stress, why did I not get him to a GP?

How was I so blinded by trying to have a perfect marraige and fix all his problems with bandaids?

How could of I let him down and not seen to get him help earlier?

How did I not see his pain and suffering and ups and downs? It was all so suttle yet not right. 

 

Would love any feedback or good reccomendations on how to work with him now? He is on medication and saying it is not working as I think he has come to a depressive state. While he is in this mood he seems to be able to think clearer. Although he still dosent want the burden of marriage on him, but Im his closest and only person to be here and help him. His family is very disfuntional and he blames it all on that. I believe he was raised by a bipolar mum. 

 

Thanyou in advance. 

 

1 REPLY 1

Re: Bipolar Husband - Wife seeking information and support

@Lou77  Hey Lou77 and welcome to the forums. I will tell you my story and it may help a bit. I have schizoaffective disorder firstly diagnosed as bipolar I. Before I was diagnosed I was completely out of control and hyper and psychotic for some 18 months. I was destructive not only to myself but my family and everyone else around me. I asked my husband at the time for a separation and as he was having an affair he agreed happily (he now regrets the decision but too late). It took months to be propertly diagnosed and treated with the right amount of medication.  If you love your husband my advice is to love him at a safe distance. He will unintentially drain all your energy reserves out of you. He wont mean to as it is the mentall illness which will be doing all the actions and the talking. Remember that.

 

Also remember to take good care of your own well being.that is highly important and of course that of your children. Your husband needs you more now than ever as he is ill but it is your call at the end of the day as to whether you can cope with the storm that is coming. Take care. greenpeax

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