I can’t cope

[AuntGlow]

@Captain24 Awwww so cute. 

hahah little rascals, I love that. 

I am sure this was very overwhelming for you to talk about... I think you're incredibly brave for addressing hard topics like this head-on. I am wondering, what do you think you can do tonight to stay safe? I finish in 20 minutes, so maybe we can just focus on the next half an hour? ☺️

[Captain24]

I’ve taken my meds @AuntGlow. Then remembered I was suppose to pick up some more today. I have enough to get me to Friday I think. Hopefully I remember Friday morning. 

Im ironing work shirts for tomorrow but I’m struggling with it. It’s not good enough, they don’t look perfect. Perfectionism at its finest.

The was a lot of hard hitting stuff. I want to be off my meds before I go to hospital but my psych is worried that if I come off them to fast, and my head isn’t coping, then I’ll end up back in them and have to start again. 

i think the safest and best place to be is in bed. I have work in the morning anyway. My alarm goes off at 4:30

[AuntGlow]

I will be heading to sleep soon too @Captain24. 😴

I hope you are able to get some rest - I will make sure to check in again tomorrow, okay? ☺️✨

[Captain24]

Thanks @AuntGlow 

@I’ll chat tomorrow but I won’t be home until about 8

[rav3n]

hey @Captain24 sorry i had to head off without responding! i assure you, you're messages we're not 'a lot' for me - i just ran out of time to respond to you and a few others too. 

how are you feeling about the potential SAD diagnosis? i hear you about winter being a struggle, my moods always much lower when the weather gets gloomy. does 'dropping the anchor' help?

the netflix show is getting weird? is this Ginny and Georgia?

[Captain24]

It’s all good @rav3n. You do many things and have many members. 

I have to do my research on SAD but I think it’s highly possible. Just something else to add but what can even be done about it? I’m already on anti-depressants.

Ginny and Georgia is good. Can’t tell you anything about it though. I’m watching the secrets we keep. There’s a lot going on. 

[Captain24]

I’ll respond over here @AuntGlow 

I tried the dropping anchor a couple of times. It turns out I’m really anxious at work! Anxiety was the big one. There were deeper feelings but I couldn’t define them. I was also anxious about doing it and what I would find. I need practice to get into the deeper feelings. I need to let myself open up to myself. 

Sitting here typing, I feel depressed, alone, worthless and that I’m nothing but it goes so much deeper. It’s like it’s locked away and I can’t open it. But I know it’s there I can feel it but not see it if that makes any sense? 

[AuntGlow]

Good evening @Captain24! How are you feeling? 💕

[Captain24]

That’s priceless @AuntGlow. I just messaged you! 

[AuntGlow]

I wish I could pick up the phone and talk to so many of you, because I think a 30-minute yap would have us chatting about so many layers! You're not alone in all of this, it's so so common to experience a block towards something deeper; especially if it's related to trauma or we haven't had a safe space to process it all... we can also simply not be ready. And that's allowed. In time you will be. The fact that you have clocked how work brings up anxiety and you are practicing dropping into anchors shows how much progress you have made. Please give yourself a big hug, and maybe something nourishing, to thank yourself for showing up today. @Captain24 💛