Darkness

[Lee82]

Hey my friend @Former-Member. no need to apologise for looking after yourself honey. That's ok if you can't be on the forum right now. Just happy to see that you are checking in from time to time. What fear is controlling you honey? How you feeling today? Got anything planned? 
Thinking of you gorgeous. Please take care of yourself, stay safe and try and be kind to yourself ❤️

[Lee82]

Hey @Shaz51 I am 37 years old hence the 82....lol what about you? 

[Lee82]

❤️@outlander ❤️

[Shaz51]

ha ha @Lee82 

 i am 55 

[Former-Member]

Hey @Lee82 , no plans curled up watching marvel movies drifting in and out of sleep. Fear of loss, I can't lose anymore right now. 

And right back at you my love, please be safe and try and be kind to yourself and  have a bowl of ice cream 😂💖

[Lee82]

I'm doing the same right now. Just watching the fast and the furious movies on mums couch. 
I am here if want to to talk about your fear right now @Former-Member or anything else. 
thanks babe. Definitely will be having some ice cream later on....lol

I will post a pic for you...😉🥰 

[Former-Member]

I love the fast and furious movies too, but I lent mine to my ex sil and haven't gotten them back yet. I can't talk about the fear as it cause too my anxiety to try and put it out there. If you want to understand part of it just read the last message you posted in this thread on Thursday and hopefully you will understand. Please know this is only part of what is troubling me at the moment. But I can't and won't go through that again. I hope your boys are ok and mum is behaving herself as much as possible. 

Please be safe. @Lee82 

[Lee82]

Oh honey. I am so sorry. I hope you don't think what happened with me Thursday night had anything to do with anything that you posted or anyone else for that matter. Everything in my life was just getting too much to handle and seeing my abuser at the shops just tipped me over the edge. 
when I said I hope you forgive me that was in regards to me leaving the forum for a while. I felt like I had failed you. 
I am so so sorry I caused you any sort of anxiety. I didn't mean for that to happened. That was super insensitive of me and I feel terrible. I should be helping you not making things worse. My heart hurts knowing that I have caused you this pain. 
I was just so scared I was going to lose my connection with you on this forum. I couldn't handle that. I thought I was not good for you. 
please don't let me stop you from getting the support you can get and need from this forum. I am so sorry. I hope this helps to easy some of that fear. If there is anything else you need me to explain about the whole situation please tell me. 
I just don't want to lose my friend. I'm so sorry. @Former-Member 

[Former-Member]

@Lee82 , I didn't think it was about what I posted but I knew where you at and how much you where struggling. I feared the worse, I didn't know how to help you. What you have to remember is that my reaction/emotions are just that, mine. You are in no way responsible for them. All that matters now is that you are safe and as ok as you can be right now, so let's focus on that. Thank you for explaining though. 💖always your friend 💖

[Lee82]

What I did Thursday night was selfish. I wasn't thinking about how it would affect anyone. When Im in that frame of mind all that matters is stopping the pain, the struggle. I was home alone and I just didn't know what to do....I'm so sorry @Former-Member 😞 will you forgive me? 
I hope I haven't ruined our bond, our friendship. 
I truly do love you and care about you. 💕 more than I can ever explain.