Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[GuiltyinLife]

Single mum of 3

My 3 daughters are aged 30,25 and 15.

Obviously only one daughter remains home and that is my 15 yo.

I am struggling with my mental health and my mental health is impacting on my 15yo  daughters mental health as it did with my other two daughters.

My 15 yo daughter is autistic and I guess this is extra challenging a lot of the time. At the moment my daughter who is at home is struggling with attending school and hasn't been there for a good part of this last term due to her own mental health. It seems very straightforward that the answer to that is to do home schooling or distance education but she doesn't want to do that and wants to stay enrolled at the school. But she is struggling to get there and also complete the work.

I am not dealing with this well because I finding it very frustrating because she wants to complete schooling but she is unable to do it at same time.

My mental health is terrible and the frustration is triggering a lot of my past life with childhood trauma due to bullying etc. I find my daughters reaction to me asking her to do something towards her school work triggers my flight or fight off after I have become frustrated with the situation with her school work not completed on time and getting emails from the school saying her assignments are over due. Then I begin to panic and I begin to apply a bit of pressure to get my daughter to complete assignments.

My daughter then reacts to that pressure and retaliates which triggers my flight or fight off.. mostly it is fight which is just verbal conflict.

So it's pretty much a massive cycle.

My mother is terminally unwell and this ATM is just adding to everything else.

I have a psychologist but the sessions are so spaced out due to minimal allowed sessions that it really provides no support or helps .

My daughter has a psychologist but hers is funded by ndis due to her being autistic.

I am so so desperate to get out of this terrible cycle. But every avenue I look at is brought to a stand still because of my financial circumstances.

I don't know what to do.

My daughter is depressed. And I want to fix myself so I can support her but nothing is working the way it needs to.

Any help with recommendations etc would be so appreciated. 

Can a person get ndis funding because of Mental health purposes?

[lavenderhaze]

Hi @GuiltyinLife,

I'm really sorry to hear about the challenges you're facing. It sounds like you're dealing with a lot, and it's understandable that you're feeling overwhelmed. 

You mentioned you have a psychologist, but the sessions are spaced out. Have you considered reaching out to other mental health support services? You may be eligible for Guided Service at SANE (https://www.sane.org/referral). They can offer counselling or peer support sessions which may be more accessible for the short term. 

Regarding your daughter's schooling, it's great that she wants to stay enrolled at her current school, even though she's struggling to attend regularly. Have you spoken with the school about her difficulties and the impact it's having on her mental health? They may be able to offer some accommodations or support to help her stay on track academically while she works through her challenges.

It's clear that you want to support your daughter and break the cycle of frustration and conflict. I want to acknowledge the added stress of your mother's illness. It's a lot to handle all at once, and it's okay to feel overwhelmed. 

I would also recommend that you get in touch with Head to Health. They may be able to offer you some support in navigating different services and finding the best resources out there. You can call 1800 595 212  or visit their website https://www.headtohealth.gov.au/.

Remember, it's important to take things one step at a time and be kind to yourself along the way. You're doing the best you can in a difficult situation, and seeking help and support is a positive step forward. ❤️

[GuiltyinLife]

I am registered for that at the moment
Hoping that will work.

[tyme]

Hey @GuiltyinLife ,

Thank you for sharing. I'm hearing that find yourself both needing to support your daughter as well as yourself.

I'm glad you are open to receiving support for yourself.

At the same time, does your daughter have supports in place for herself? For example, is the school aware of her challenges, and are there supports in place for her. An example of supports can include a modified timetable (e.g. start with half a day and build this up to full time), extra support for assessments/assignments, wellbeing supports at school.

Please know you are not alone. 

There are many parents facing the challenge of school can't. 

I hope to hear from you soon.

[GuiltyinLife]

Yes the school is definitely helping