Yes! Thank you for starting this conversation. My libido is screwed, to put it bluntly, as a result of my Borderline Personality Disorder, but that's about the only thing that's screwed around here, if you catch my drift...  To make matters worse, my poor, long-suffering partner is one of those people who needs physical connection to feel love, which we discovered after doing the 5 Love Languages assessment from the website of the same name, based on the book by Gary Chapman, something I suspected was the case before we did the quiz.  And he met me after terminating a sexless marriage, while I was in a hyper-sexual phase - something I'm prone to due to the unstable sense of self my BPD creates - only to now have to deal with the exact opposite.  He's my carer too, so he gets to deal with the full gamut of my mental health trials & tribulations in all realms of my life.

I've tried to explain to him, it's not that I don't desire him, or desire the intimacy & physical pleasure, it's just that I don't like myself enough to allow that to happen these days, or I lack faith in my abilities enough that I don't know if I can perform sufficiently. . . but it's so difficult to convey low self-esteem & self-confidence to someone who's never struggled with that, or with mental health issues, & therefore can't fathom the pervasiveness of such negative thoughts & their repercussions, which is something I have found when explaining many of my symptoms to him.  I'm totally at a loss as to what to do next - I love him to death, & still find him sexy & desirable, however I don't want to have sex with myself, therefore he misses out too.

I wish we could go to couples' counselling or a sexologist or similar, but due to my BPD, I'm on the pension because I can't work, & he's my carer full time & not working either, so we're poor, & therefore that stuff's out of reach financially.