I can’t cope

[tyme]

Hey @Captain24 ,

Sorry to hear things are still hard.

I took the dog for a little walk today, but she was scared of everything and just wanted to go home. So I carried her instead lol.

Have your docs ever spoken about possible ECT?

[Captain24]

Hey @tyme 

Sorry for failing still. I was made feel unwanted and unwelcome earlier. Like that I haven’t even tried. 

It’s hard to train them to learn to walk on a lead. Lots of patience!!! 

[tyme]

Hey @Captain24 ,

You didn't fail. I'm sorry you felt that way. 

Is there something I could have done better?

[Captain24]

It doesn’t matter @tyme. It’s probably what everyone is thinking anyway. It has made me question a lot, on here and with myself. Just can’t voice it here. 

Are you going to be chief dog walker? 😜 

[tyme]

Arghhh @Captain24 . Those thoughts really like rooting themselves in your mind, eh?

Of course I like talking to you. Seriously. You are awesome to talk to.

As for chief walker - no. I don't have time. I didn't want the dog. That's not my job. I don't even want to pat her because I don't want to love her too much. 

But geez she's cute.

[Captain24]

I enjoy our chats and appreciate the support @tyme.

Yeah.. I’m in a little bit of trouble but I do see my psych tomorrow and I have to  contact my CM. She is concerned about my safety. 

Hahaha… we will see about Ruby-rose!! 

[tyme]

You know what? Be honest with them. Everyone is concerned about your safety. Let them know if you really honestly feel you don't think you can keep yourself safe. At the same time I can see that they don't want to admit you straight away as they probably want you to have a go at utilising some of the strats you have learnt.

I have hope that things will work out in the end. I recognise it is so so hard right now. When I think about my MH journey, this got to the worst of the worst before there was a steep recovery. I somehow can align how you are now with a certain time in my recovery.

Ruby-Rose... argh... I think I have holes in all my clothes. She loves sinking her teeth into my clothes when she's excited....babies....

First night, I had my nephew sleep with me. Second night, I had my niece sleep with me. They said the dog whimpered all night and they couldn't sleep. So both kids hopped into my bed last night... tonight, none of them are here. I think they are all buggered and now asleep. @Captain24 

Anyway, I'm off now. Will talk later this week.

[tyme]

@Captain24 , I can’t sleep and was thinking of sending these pics to you.

[Captain24]

Awww… so cute!! @tyme. Thanks for thinking of me! 

[Eve7]

Sending lots of love to you @Captain24